Cameron was watching me shop for journals today. He understands… Shares my affinity for office supplies. This time I’m being incredibly picky, as I’m trying really hard these days to 1.) fill up a journal all the way through — not just use the first three pages, then start over and 2.) use one journal for everything — I used to have separate ones for different categories (stories, languages, science, etc.). I find it gives the book more color, looking back, to have phrases like

might be too attached to my ego to properly love

next to

try with and without protein powder… kiwi?

next to

spell list: identify, obscuring mist, ray of frost, daze…

next to

calcium receptor polymorphism — sensitive to deprivation?

It just works. But this journal has almost run out, and I’ve been having such a hard time finding the right one… Patronizing rule-size, titles on the cover like “Gratitude” (like it’s for a person to whom it only occurred to him/her to write because O magazine suggested it), ugly prints… But it was more than that. I’m waiting for that feeling I got as a little (or not so little) girl, of putting my hands on a book and knowing that I was going to make it a mystical tome! I have a history of red journals, which is energetic — but blue might be better for relaxed and focused thinking. My current one is green. Do I want graph paper? Maybe no rule at all this time, totally blank.